Oh, After Burning Your Boat, You’ll Need A Treasure Map & A Compass - Your Wife Provides Both!
You can relax because I’m not talking about ruining your fishing weekend, but instead about three simple things you can start doing right away to show your wife on a daily basis that you love and cherish her above all others.
The biggest key to blazing an easier, joy-filled path to a strong, long-lasting marriage that defies the odds is unshakeable commitment to your wife.
To succeed, you will need to make a masculine decision as well as a few pleasurable adjustments to your focus, daily actions, and habits.
The changes your make will remove all doubts from her mind, cause her to take notice of your sincerity and step closer in your direction in way that makes your journey even easier.
Overcoming Your Fear of Over Commitment Brings Benefits Quickly
If you’re like most husbands reading this, you have a strong need and healthy desire for a very happy wife over the long haul because it would make your life better. You accurately suspect that she, like many women, wants you to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you truly love her, and only her.
You know that what she wants you to put the bond of your committed relationship ahead of everyone and everything else, always, as was probably the solemn vow you made on your wedding day.
And, being like most husbands, you may feel some hesitancy to completely surrender your whole mind and soul in such a way, or you may feel a willing desire but need some advice on getting started the right way. Your marriage may be in such a state that you think an even deeper commitment means putting yourself at risk for heartbreak or failure.
If you’ll think back - for some of you it’s quite a ways back - you made a solemn promise along the lines of “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part” - it’s a promise that most men never make in any other scenario.
So, since this is likely the deepest, most sincere vow, its impact on your mental and emotional health is significant, and failure should not be an option. It’s a major psychological change the thought of which can incite fear and anxiety as major changes tend to do.
Look, I understand if the idea of putting 100% of yourself on the line can be a scary prospect. Nobody wants to be the person who gives all when there’s even a remote chance that it will not work out the way you want. Men are especially vulnerable to the fear of failure in relationships which is why research shows women tend to commit first, commit more deeply and put themselves in a position to be the one left holding the bag.
Research studies have shown that women value a trusting, committed relationship as a top ‘values’ priority - an essential need (time, love and attention), while men are more reserved and paranoid about the risk.
Since men tend to be less committed than women, often by as much as 2 to 1, it means that your working to be a committed husband who has decided to go all-in elevates your efforts to uncommon and unique levels. On the surface it seems bad, but it is good news for any man who has the courage to do what many men are afraid to: Go all in!
The fact is that fearless love without conditions is a risk worth taking if you want the rewards that it can bring. The choice to commit totally and without reservation separates you from the herd, places you in rare territory, makes you one of those unique husbands who improves his chances for a life-long, satisfying marriage.
Additionally, there’s a solid chance that once you begin to demonstrate your newfound focus, she will take it as a ‘safety signal’, and begin to do things from her perspective to make things easier for you to do it. This benefit may take a little time as she may need some period of adjustment after the natural shock of your transformation wears off.
Women are brilliantly intuitive and pick up on those kinds of signals quickly, being more relationship centered than men. Wives tend to take a proactive step towards their man who she knows is taking a step closer to her. This is a natural form of psychological reward giving that is ingrained in her DNA.
Successfully Easing Your Way Into Strong Husbandly Commitment
The good news for you is that by making the effort at searching for an answer and reading it here to apply in your marriage means that you have already set sail in the right direction!
Now you need only plant your feet on the solid ground of a 100% commitment, stop looking anywhere but forward to a future wherein you and your wife enjoy a life long, happy and passionate bond, and learn how So, how do you get there from where you are now? Let’s try an approach that will get easier and more enjoyable the longer you do it, for both of you.
Burn Your Boat To Narrow and Aim Your Focus - We Get What We Focus On
The first step, now that you’ve made the decision is to brush aside any distractions that can pull you off course. This involves a ruthless process of cutting off time killing, essentially disloyal activities that take away with your mental and emotional commitment.
A Committed Relationship is Easier When A Husband Works At It Like A Craftsman
"Unfortunately, married couple gets divorced every 36 Seconds - many of those marriages could have been saved, turned around, and made to thrive with just a few simple, pleasurable decisions on the part of the Husband.”
David N. Johnson
These impractical 'mental escape routes' include such distractions as
- Fantasizing about life without her, spending lots of time making your post marriage plans before you've even fulfilled your vow obligations to fight for her. The time you spend fantasizing about surviving failure could be invested in preventing it.
- Flirting with old girlfriends you keep in touch with - failing to let go of those past relationships that steal emotional real estate away from your wife. She is supposed to be your only mental target.
- Widely available pornographic entertainment. Did you know that most wives do not feel comfortable with their husband watching it? Again, you made a vow to your wife that you would have eyes only for her. Giving attention to fantasy women who wouldn't care if you dropped dead this very day is a waste of your life and it dilutes the passion you should have for your bride.
- Mindless Social Media and even unmanaged Digital Technology - you may be shocked to learn that spending lots of time online and on your digital devices is mostly out of you control. Companies spend millions on very smart people who design these mediums to make you addicted to them. Again, another source that traps you into giving to it what should be given to the woman you love.
One of the best illustrations of this fundamental principle of a 100% commitment mentality is how Hernán Cortés, a 16th-century Spanish commander, was so intent on winning the day that when his fleet landed on the Mexican shore in 1519, he gathered his men together and had them set fire to the ships.
That may seem like a shocking way to get the job done, but this brilliant strategy served to cut off any thought of escape and refocus all minds on victory, alone. This story has made the rounds for decades in boardrooms and meetings to get people focused, and it applies here. If you want your wife, totally, then you must be free to do exactly that.
One of the essential fundamentals of success involves the understanding that we get what we focus on the most; therefore, in order to succeed at being a better husband, you must make that goal the dominant object of your attention and thoughts.
Just as you would do if you wanted to master any skill, you must make the decision to get clear on what you want, take relentless action toward making bringing it about. You should take an interest in role modeling the best examples, remain mindful of your results, and be prepared to make adjustments to your approach for a better result.
Make a Treasure Map to Follow - She Knows the Best Route
There is no human being on earth who can tell you exactly how to succeed at making your wife happy as well as she can. Why not use your husbandly privilege to get her involved in a fun way by asking her the right kind of questions to make your efforts easier?
That will go a long way toward helping you draw up a map of activities, behaviors, and habits that you can follow over time to build the kind of committed relationship that women on the whole long for.
Guys are not known for asking directions, but a wise man will not allow himself to wander around blind and lost in an unfamiliar wilderness. In this case, the easiest way you can find your way back to the center of her being to listen to her perspective. Since most wives want to be happy, the effort may be easier than you imagine.
So, what kinds of romantic routes can she provide to help you navigate this new territory? Well, she can tell you what makes her happy in every area of romantic relationships and marriage. You really need to get her point of view without conducting a police interview under a hot lamp.
In the same way you and she can enjoy a delightful talk over a meal, you can get to know her better by letting her tell you how to fulfill those deep needs you have not asked about.
The key will be to have a casual conversation that does not feel like an interrogation. People generally love to talk about themselves, and if she trusts you, your sincere interest in her will open the floodgates of revelation.
She can satisfy your curiosity as to her perspective on matters of your marital roles, romantic lifestyle, intimacy habits, family budget, division of labor around the house, date nights, quality time and more.
Making the easy decision to become her most interested listener can make bonding with her a breeze!
By learning to hone in naturally on how she expresses herself and the topics that interest her, you can pick up really good tidbits for your daily commitment habit.
While Following Your Map, Use Your Compass to Stay On Course
At this point, with a complete commitment on your end and her custom recipe for relationship happiness, you are perfectly prepared to move forward on a daily basis in a way that continually makes your marriage better.
Like any explorer moving through unfamiliar territory in hopes of a treasure, the daily grind might wear you down. Daily effort might make you wish you could take a break, maybe even give up the goal. It's the same problem with dieting, the planning seems great but the days can seem long.
Unlike dieting though, you're not looking to lose something but to find treasure. If you keep the right mindset with your goal clearly at the forefront of your mind it will help you persist through challenges, fatigue, and frustration until you start to experience returns on your emotional investment.
Using the notes you’ve gathered from the heart-to-heart talks with your wife (who’s curiosity should be peaked by now), take the necessary time to develop a comfortable personal plan of action.
Your plan should allow you to do just a few simple things each day to make 100% commitment into an easy, delightful lifestyle that can make your committed relationship a joy for the two of you and an inspiring example to others. Keep in mind that your decision to do this places you in the top percentile of husbands, willing to engage in actual effort to make their wife happy.