When your wife is depressed, it can put a strain on your marriage. Being in a relationship with somebody who is chronically unhappy, negative, or withdrawn isn’t easy.
There have been many marriages that have ended because one spouse or the other suffered from depression while the other one had no idea how to deal with it.
As a Committed Husband, it’s important that you understand that everything isn’t always about you.
You very well could be the reason for your wife’s depression, but many times it has nothing to do with you at all. What that means is that you can’t fix it. If your wife suffers from chronic depression you have to understand that this isn’t something that she chose.
And if you don’t suffer from chronic depression yourself, you can’t really understand how it makes her feel.
Depression is a serious mental illness that can and will interfere with both your life and your marriage. It can cause long-lasting and severe feelings of sadness, hopelessness, anger, and a loss of interest in most things.
It can even cause physical symptoms of weight loss, or weight gain, physical pain, or even sleep issues.
If your wife is depressed it’s important to understand that depression is more than a feeling of sadness. It’s a feeling of despair and hopelessness. It removes the joys of life and robs her of her self-esteem.
It’s a downward spiral that can leave your wife gasping for air as she falls deeper and deeper into the abyss that is depression.
So, what can you do?
Tip #1: Don’t take her depression personally.
It’s easy to feed into the resentment you may feel towards your wife because of her depression. Or your loneliness because of it. Don’t.
Now, more than ever, she needs your understanding and your patience. She already feels guilty for the way she feels.
Taking on your resentment isn’t going to do either on of you any good.
So, keep your head clear and your anger in check.
Tip #2: Help you wife get help for her depression.
Depression already comes with a stigma and your wife isn’t immune to that fact. She could be embarrassed to admit that she is depressed or even outwardly deny it.
Help her understand that you’re in this together and that she is not alone.
You can approach her by saying something like: “I love you and I hate watching you suffer like this. Depression is a common issue and nothing to be ashamed about. Let’s find out more about this together.”
Tip #3: Be open to communication but don’t force the issue.
When talking with your wife about how she feels, follow her lead. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t force her to. However, its okay to offer gentle encouragement to do so. Again, just don’t pressure her.
This isn’t something that you can fix and You shouldn’t even try.
When communicating with your wife about how she feels, be prepared to hear things that may hurt yours.
Don't pass any judgment because she may question her love for you, or even staying together.
I understand that this sort of thing is hard to hear but it very well could be just the depression talking. Its hard to love somebody else when you don’t love your self.
Be there for your wife no matter what. If she was important enough to say I do to, she is important enough to stick by when things get tough.
Tip #4: Work as a team.
It’s important for your wife to understand that she is not in this alone. Don’t let her scare you, because she will try to push you away.
Let her know that you have her back and will do whatever you can to help her. If she is going to therapy, let her know that you’ll go with her if she wants.
She needs your support. Make her feel secure in your love. Let her know that you aren’t going anywhere.
Tip #5: Learn as much about depression as possible.
Educate yourself. Your wife needs all the support she can get. She may feel out of control but if she sees that you are there for her, it will help her find her way back to both you and herself.
The more you learn about depression the better your able to speak to your wife from a place of knowledge.
It was also help you practice patients and unconditional love. Because that’s exactly what she needs.
As a Committed Husband you can help your wife with her depression. You can’t fix it, but you can be the lighthouse she needs to find her way back to the shore.
Be the light in her darkness.